By: Makaylee Hall 

When I was 17, in my final year of high school, I thought my mental state would determine how I lived the rest of my life. I was silently attempting to endure the stress of not knowing what would happen next, while everyone else was preoccupied with enthusiasm and the next steps. Like most high school seniors, I wanted to experience college life and prove I could make a fresh start somewhere else. 
             
I was determined not to attend Middle Tennessee State University for the reason my older sister did. Watching my peers enroll in distant schools further strengthened my belief that leaving was the only option. Although senior year is sometimes called the best year, I found it the most draining. 
 
During the final months of my senior year, I battled severe depression and anxiety, intensified by personal challenges and betrayal from people I once considered close friends. I began withdrawing from everyone, spending lunches hidden in restrooms or teachers’ classrooms to avoid being seen. The anxiety followed me home, keeping me awake at night with chest pains that felt impossible to ignore. 
 
As high school graduation inched closer, I was still trying to process everything happening in my personal life while facing the reality of choosing a college. MTSU was the only school I applied to. This let me stay close to home, prioritize my mental health, and lean on my family for support. 

Starting college in the same town where I went to high school made me feel like I was not really moving forward. I worried I would not meet new people or experience anything different, just the same routines in a new setting. Still, I was determined to break out of that mindset and make a strong first impression. 

The summer before beginning college, I signed up for Greek life after hearing one of my good friends, Melanie, a Chi Omega at UTK, talk about how it shaped her college experience. Her encouragement pushed me outside my comfort zone. With nothing to lose, I decided to take the chance. 

After submitting my paperwork to rush in the fall, I was added to a GroupMe with other girls going through recruitment. It was my first real chance to meet new people, and that is where I came across a girl named Caitlin, who happened to be from my hometown.  

As most people do, I looked her up on social media. When I saw she was already following me, I took it as my sign to reach out. I was going through recruitment alone and knew I needed to make a connection, so I added her on Snapchat, and we started with small talk. 

We decided to go shopping on the first day we met in person. Between trying on clothes and walking through stores, we talked about rush, our nerves, and how overwhelming everything felt. We realized we shared several mutual friends, and by the end of the day, what started as a simple message turned into an unexpected friendship. 

Before I knew it, my first semester was right around the corner. I felt like a freshman all over again, worrying about where to go, who I would sit next to, and whether I would even find my classrooms. Everything felt intimidating in a way I had not expected. 

Luckily, my high school sweetheart started at MTSU a year before me, and knowing he would be there on my first day brought a sense of comfort. Still, I woke up that morning with a pit in my stomach, so anxious that I was up hours before my 10:15 a.m. class. Parking during the first few weeks is always chaotic, and I wanted plenty of time to find a spot and make the walk. 

After finding a spot to park, I met up with my significant other, and we headed toward my first class together, nervously exchanging reassurances along the way. Despite the anxiety, I felt something shifted. Deep down, I knew this was the beginning of something new.  

He dropped me off outside my first class, and I took a deep breath before walking inside. That is when I noticed a girl named Lena, who immediately made me feel welcome. We sat next to each other, and over the semester, she became someone I could count on. 

She is from Switzerland, and learning about her culture quickly became one of my favorite parts of class. What started as a nervous first day turned into another reminder that maybe I was not as alone as I thought. 

About a week later, Recruitment weekend arrived. I sat in math class that Friday, filled with anxiety, unsure of what rush even looked like. All I knew was that I wanted a fresh start. 

After math class, I quickly changed into my philanthropy outfit and met Caitlin to begin the process together. Throughout the weekend, emotions came in waves, but I leaned on my parents, Melanie, and my recruitment counselors while trusting my gut. 

 Preference day changed everything. When I saw Chi Omega on my schedule, my heart was set, and walking into the house felt different from anywhere else. The girls made me feel seen, and I broke down as Caitlin sat across from me, knowing I had found my home. 

Monday of Bid Day was a blur of nerves and anticipation. The walk to the Student Ballroom felt endless, and my thoughts raced as Caitlin and I reunited with our RC group. When we opened our bid cards together, we ran home side by side. 

I immediately called Melanie to tell her we were officially sisters, then ran home to Chi Omega. That day, I met girls who would soon feel like family, including my Big. Finding a place where I felt truly seen and supported was more comforting than I ever imagined. 

After getting settled into college and sorority life, I finally began to feel hopeful that everything would be okay. I found people who saw my true potential, and Chi Omega gave me opportunities to grow, including serving as Spirit chair on Cardinal Cabinet during my first year. I kept saying yes to things that made me uncomfortable, even when I was not sure where they would lead. 

Although I still had no idea what I wanted to study, I knew I had a purpose somewhere. Coming into college, I planned to study dental hygiene because of the money and flexibility, but science and math have always worried me. As I started wrapping up my General Education courses, I knew it was time to declare a major. 

After touring colleges and meeting with my advisor, I realized that advertising and social media were what I wanted to do in the long term. Looking back, it made sense… Growing up, I made YouTube videos with my sister, edited projects on iMovie, and gravitated toward journalism without ever realizing it could become a career. 

Knowing I could stay at MTSU brought me so much joy, especially because I could continue building lifelong friendships. After winter break, I returned excited to learn in my core classes, and before I knew it, I fell even more in love with my major because of my professors. They made it easy to show up and want to learn. 

While taking media writing, I learned about an opportunity to join MTSU’s Department of News and Media Relations’ student social team. I knew right away I had to apply. It felt like the perfect way to get involved early and start building my career. 

While going through the process of joining the student social team, I found people who shared the same passions as me. I finally had classmates I could network and collaborate with, which made everything feel more real. During my first semester with the student social team, I took every opportunity to cover events and games, using each assignment to build my portfolio and grow more confident in my work. 

At the same time, I continued putting my whole heart into Chi Omega. Slating, the process of voting for a new Executive Board, was approaching. Ultimately, I was nominated for a position. I took it as a sign and decided I had nothing to lose. 

When the day came, I was selected as Personnel for Chi Omega’s Executive Board. In that role, I help oversee the chapter and support members when challenges arise. Another reminder that I was capable of more than I once believed. 

When I look back at who I was two or three years ago, I barely recognize that person. Even my parents have noticed how much I have grown throughout my time at MTSU. Seeing the girl who once felt so lost now, finding her confidence, still makes me emotional. 

MTSU changed me in ways I never expected. High school isn’t the end. There is so much life waiting afterward, even when you cannot see it yet. Going to college in your hometown does not mean you cannot start over. A fresh start begins with your mindset, and everything depends on what you are willing to put into yourself. 

As I slowly begin to wrap up my time at MTSU, part of me wishes I could stay forever. This place has seen me at my lowest and my highest, and it helped shape who I am today. More than anything, I have learned to trust myself because every hard moment led me exactly where I needed to be.